Dine like Deities: An evening of Divine Proportions

Dine like Deities: An evening of Divine Proportions

Within a maze of disused railway arches, under Waterloo station, lies The Vaults; London’s home for immersive theatre and alternative arts.  I was invited by LovePopUpsLondon for an evening of Divine Proportions with the Gods, so I took my friend Mike along to see what it was all about.


Divine Proportions is the latest venture from Shotgun Carousel; a female-led creative production and arts company. They have put on a heavenly new immersive dining experience based on the story of Dionysus, God of Pleasure and Mischief, that blurs the line between feast and fantasy.

Throughout the evening, Goddesses take you through secret tunnels into a subterranean paradise, on a mythical journey to heaven and back.  Guests are treated to an indulgent evening of eating, drinking and wild dancing as the goddesses help you explore the beauty of female sexuality.



Upon arrival, we entered a dark and mysterious chamber; a kind of underworld that immediately transported you to another realm. Warm bread hung in baskets from the ceiling; a great appetiser for guests as they mingled amongst each other.

Then, out of nowhere, the lights dimmed, and a group of goddesses who had been in character amongst the crowd collected in a circle in the middle of the room.  They began chanting what seemed like a spell, along with some erotic interpretive dancing, and opened a door which transformed into a giant vagina (seriously, check the photo above).   I have to be honest at this point I had no idea where I was or what I had gotten myself into, but I followed the crowd through the vagina and upstairs into the heavens!

The decor of the heavens was truly magical.  Fairy lights lit up the room and clouds hung from the ceiling – you definitely felt like you were in the home of the Gods.

We were shown our seats where our starter of Seabass, seaweed salad, and pickled cucumber was waiting.  I have to be honest and say that I wasn’t particularly impressed with the food.  The starter was overly fishy and the presentation of the following dishes was quite poor, particularly the main course as you can see from the photo below – it reminded me of a school dinner. I have been to a lot of immersive dining experiences such as Faulty Towers, and Murder on the Orient Express, and the food at those events was incredible.  For our main course, we had guinea fowl breast with root vegetables and potatoes.  Despite the poor presentation, this was really tasty and was a pleasant introduction to my first guinea fowl dish.  A dessert of white chocolate and coconut milk proved popular amongst those on our table, although I’m not a huge dessert fan so I gave this a miss.

Throughout the evening, goddesses are introduced, usually by a big musical number that has the crowd singing along.  We were treated to a cheeky striptease from Aphrodite, and an erotic candle wax dance from Persephone.  This raunchy cabaret show continued whilst we dined, and made for a truly fun evening and an electric atmosphere.

A fiery performance from Persephone proved for an entertaining finale.  This was my favourite act of the night and ended the evening on a high note.

Although I loved the female empowerment, I found the whole ‘gender-bending liberalism’ a bit excessive.  Being told to refer to people as ‘they’ because ‘she/he’ was too constricting, and being constantly reminded to “leave your labels at the door” was a little too extreme for me. Nevertheless, I’m all for being who you want to be and this definitely encouraged people to be their true selves.

This was definitely a unique and crazy evening out! If you are with a group of friends and fancy some lighthearted cabaret, food, and debauchery, then this is the place to go.

Divine Proportions is running at The Vaults until January 2018 on Tuesdays – Sundays. For more info on how to book, check out their website:  DIVINE PROPORTIONS


*  I received complimentary tickets to review this experience .  Views are my own.


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